Flock Talk
by jadeprincess147
Summary: Series of unrelated all-dialogue oneshots with two members of the flock talking to each other about . . . well, lots of things. Some are funny, some are fluffy, and some are just kinda random. T for themes. Fax, Eggy.
1. Hey Max?

**AN: So this is my third MR story that I've written. Like it says in the description, it's a collection of unrelated all-dialogue oneshots. So I hope that you like it, and tell me what you think!**

**Disclaimer: Can this cover all the chapters? Okay, I don't own Maximum Ride or its characters times 25. There. I'm covered.**

"Hey Max?"

"Yeah?"

"I need a drink."

"Now? At midnight?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, go get a water bottle in your backpack."

"Okay."

". . ."

". . ."

"Hey Max?"

"What?"

"I'm cold."

"You have a sweatshirt."

"I'm still cold."

"Go run a mile or two to warm up."

"Okay, then . . ."

". . . I was kidding."

"Of course. I was just humoring you."

"Sure. Well, good night."

". . ."

". . ."

"Hey Max?"

"WHAT?!"

"I can't fall asleep."

"Count sheep. Count wings. Count winged sheep."

"That's boring."

"Good. It will be so boring, you'll fall asleep."

"Okay then. Good night."

"Good night."

". . ."

". . ."

"It's not working."

"It's only been two minutes!"

"Yeah, and it's not working."

"Well, uh, just think of . . . um . . . carrots!"

". . . What the heck, Max?"

"You heard me! Carrots!"

"I don't like carrots."

"Then think about Disney World!"

"Why?"

"Cause it's happy there."

"Yeah, happy and terribly overpriced."

"Y'know, I'd love to discuss the economy with you, but I'm freaking tired!"

"Okay. Sorry."

"Good night."

". . ."

". . ."

"Hey Max?"

". . . Yes?"

"Can I have a good night kiss?"

". . .?"

". . ."

"Sure, Fang."

". . ."

"Good night."

"Good night, Max."


	2. Check It Out!

**AN: Thanks to those who reviewed the first chapter! I was super excited. Aren't I such a dork? Anyway, try to guess who's talking in this chapter. I'll tell you at the end, but it's sorta obvious.**

"Oh em gee, Max, check it out!"

"Check what out?"

"It's this eye massager! It like, vibrates your forehead!"

"That's cool. But do we really need it?"

"Yes!"

"Uh-huh. We'll do without it."

"Well, fine then. But- CHECK IT OUT!"

"What's so amazing this time?"

"It's a lime green purse with a huge buckle!"

"I can see that."

"Do you see it's potentiality though?"

"I don't think pontentiality is a word."

"Psh. Technicality."

". . ."

"Is technicality a word?"

"Last time I checked."

"Oh. Well, I'm okay then. So, the other day I saw the cutest- CHECK IT-"

"Yes, I get it. What is it?"

"It's . . . It's . . ."

"Oh. Wow. Please do not say-"

"I love it!"

"That."

"But Max! It has wings! Pleazies?"

"Don't you dare try Bambi eyes on me! I'm not looking!"

"Take your hands off of your eyes and just look at me for a second."

"No. A second is all it takes."

"But it's my birthday . . ."

". . . No it's not."

"In five and a half months it is."

"And I think that shirt can wait until then."

"Why can't Fang buy it for me?"

"If you can convince Fang to, I don't give a crap."

"But what about right now?"

"Because right now we need to buy groceries and everyone else is waiting."

"Why, Max? Why?"

"Be. Cause. I. Said. So."

"That's not even a good reason."

"It's a fine reason. I'm the leader. I decide."

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because waffles have squares in them."

". . . Why do waffles have squares anyway?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"I think it's to balance out the world in all things."

". . . Sure. That works."

"I'm so philosophical, aren't I?"

"Yup, you could go become Ghandi if you wanted."

"Really?"

". . . Um . . ."

"Holy Saint Fang. CHECK. IT. OUT."

"Ugh. Again?"

"Max, I must have this."

"No, you must be insane."

"You must be insane to not want me to have this!"

"It's a giant purple plastic poodle."

"Exactly! It would be so great to have."

"Yeah. How are you gonna carry it when we're flying?"

". . . I'll make Iggy carry it."

"And what if Iggy doesn't want to?"

"Then I'll drop it on a random person's head and call it charity."

". . . You have a screwed-up view of charity."

"Thank you."

"That wasn't exactly a compliment."

"I know."

". . ."

". . ."

"Can we just pay and get out of here?"

"Believe me, I'd love to."

"Oh my gosh, Max, check it out!"

"Yes, that's what I'm trying to do with our food!"

"No, I mean _check it out!_"

"No. Come on, help me carry these groceries."

"Gee, how much crap did you buy, Max?"

"Don't even talk to me about buying crap."

"Why? Oh, check it out!"

"That's why."

"Oh."

". . ."

"Y'know, I can't wait until Christmas."

"I'll just bet you can't."

"We can go shopping together and buy presents . . ."

"Uh, I think you're taking someone else shopping next time."

"So there WILL be a next time!"

"Not with me there won't."

"Why?"

". . ."

"CHECK IT OUT!"

"That's why."

**AN: So there's that. Give me feedback, or give me flames, I've been keeping these for too long. *pulls out marshmallows* Thanks for reading! (By the way, it was Max and Nudge. No duh. :)**


	3. I've Got New Socks On

**AN: So today was my first day of school. It was pretty . . . Okay I guess. I have four hour and a half long classes, so it gets kinda tedious, and I had homework. Geometry and Spanish. It's gonna be a great year. So here's the next chapter, again thanks to everyone who reviewed/faved/alerted or just plain read this story. **

"This is gonna be so great!"

"It's an elevator ride, Gazzy. What's so great about it?"

"Why are you so grumpy?"

"Be. Cause."

"Fine, then. No one can ruin the pure joy I am feeling at this moment."

"Way to be poetic."

"Shut up, okay? Oooh, it's almost to our floor!"

"Stop pinching my arm. You're cutting off my circulation."

"My apologies."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

". . ."

". . ."

"You're taking this way too seriously. There's something wrong with you."

"Uh, yeah. There is. I have wings."

"Besides that."

"I can mimic voices."

"Besides THAT."

"I have a really bad habit of-"

"Other than THAT!"

"Oh. Well thank you, then."

"You have a dark gift, and you wield it happily."

"Yes. Yes I do."

"Five, four, three, two, ONE!"

"Wait 'til the doors open, Gaz."

"SHUT UP!"

"Fine. Just get in the dang elevator. What floor?"

"14."

"Why the highest?"

"You'll see."

". . . Why are we stopping at the . . ."

"Third floor."

"Third floor?"

"Cause someone's getting on."

"Oh."

". . ."

". . ."

"I have new socks on."

"Gaz what is wrong with you? The guy doesn't even speak English!"

"I know that."

"You haven't had new socks since Anne Walker."

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that."

". . . Ugh, Gaz. Seriously, sometimes I don't get you . . ."

"I'm a screwed up kid?"

"You took the words right out of my mouth."

"Why thanks, Iggy. I like to hear that."

"Well, if you like to hear that, then how about . . . You're so adorable!"

"Stop it!"

"Awww, look at his wittle tantrum!"

"STOP!"

"His face is turning red, is he gonna cry?"

"I've got new socks on!"

"Yes, yes, I get that -"

"I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to the nice woman over there."

"The one who's slowly but surely getting a can of pepper spray out of her purse?"

"And we're leaving the elevator."

". . ."

". . ."

"Wait, how did you know she had pepper spray? You can't see!"

"I know that."

"Oh gosh Ig. Really? You would sink that low?"

"You bet."

"You suck, you know that, right?"

"You're a pain in my butt, you know that, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well then I know that I suck."

". . ."

". . ."

"So you wanna go blow up a pair of Max's jeans?"

"Heck to the yes!"

"We'll have to take the elevator."

". . . Y'know, I was thinking we could take the stairs, y'know, become healthier . . . Avoid women with pepper spray . . ."

"But come on man, I've got new socks on!"

**AN: So there's that. Did you like it? Did you not? It was much shorter, but I felt that I couldn't use the subject anymore. But tell me your thoughts, and thanks for the reviews!**


	4. Do Not Turn Upside Down

**AN: So yeah, here I am on a weekend, with nothing to do. So, I say to myself, I'll write up a new chapter to Flock Talk. Yay-ness. Thanks for reviews and faves and alerts. Y'all rock. **

"Oooh, Ig, that looks yummy!"

"What does the label say?"

"It's . . . uh . . . ty-ruh-mih-soo."

"Oh, you mean tiramisu."

"Yeah, that."

"Well plop it in the cart."

"I need to be careful so that it doesn't splat."

"Sure, yeah, that would be bad . . ."

"What's in tiramisu anyway?"

"Cream. Sugar."

"No freaking duh, Iggy."

"Angel!"

"What?"

"Who taught you to say that?"

"Uh, you did."

"Oh. Well then."

". . ."

". . ."

"So what else is in it?"

"Coffee. Not that you need anymore caffeine."

"What else?"

"Milk."

"What else?"

"Eggs."

"What else?"

"Cocoa."

"What else?"

"I don't know."

"What else?"

"CALAMARI!"

". . ."

". . ."

"What's calamari?"

"Fried octopus."

"Oh."

". . ."

". . ."

"What else?"

"GAH! Angel, stop saying that!"

"Why?"

"Why are you so annoying?"

"I know you are but what am I?"

"Ugh! Help me check out these groceries!"

"Um, Ig . . . ?"

"You never listen to me, and you, young lady-"

"Iggy?"

"- are going straight to bed without dessert, or tiramisu-"

"Iggy!"

"- when we get home. Do you hear-"

"IGGY!"

"-me. What?"

". . ."

". . . What was that splatting noise? . . . Uh-oh."

"You splatted my ty-ruh-mih-soo!"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Well you did!"

"There should be a label for people like me!"

"There is."

"Where?"

"On. The. Bottom."

"Well, what. Does. It. Say?"

"Do . . . Not . . . Turn . . . Upside . . . Down!"

". . . Well, it's a little late for that."

"Ty-ruh-mih-soo splatter . . . er!"

"Ugh. Seriously, who would put that on the bottom?"

"An idiot like you!"

"That's it! No tiramisu for you!"

"I'm telling Max!"

"I don't care."

"Oh you better. You splatted the wrong person's tiramisu."

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"You better be."

". . ."

". . ."

"Okay, now I kind of am. Stop staring at me."

"Not until you apologize."

"Okay! I'm sorry I . . . er . . . splatted your tiramisu."

"It's okay Iggy! I forgive you!"

"Awww. Thanks, Angel."

"You still better watch your back."

"I thought you would say that."

**AN: So there's that. How was it? Thanks again for everyone who reads! If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I have a few things up my sleeve, but I'm always willing to hear other thoughts. Happy Saturday!**


	5. Are We There Yet?

**AN: Hello everybody! I was out of town last weekend, which is when I usually update, so that's why I'm posting this chapter on a Wednesday. HAPPY WEDNESDAY! Guess who's talking this time. **

"Max?"

"What, sweetie?"

"When are we gonna get there?"

'I don't know."

". . ."

". . ."

"Why?"

"Because . . . I don't know. An hour, maybe."

"You're lying."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are. And why did you kiss a hot dog?"

". . . What?!"

"Well, Fang thought that some Sam dude was a wiener. And you kissed him. And hot dogs are wieners!"

". . . That little . . . Gonna pay . . ."

"Why are you mumbling?"

"Never mind."

". . ."

". . ."

"So he was a good kisser."

"Angel, shut up. Or . . . Er . . . Stop reading minds."

"Can the sun stop shining?"

"No . . ."

"Can a river stop flowing?"

"No."

"Can a-"

"Get to the point."

"If those are true, then I can't stop reading minds."

"Ugh, your so . . . Annoying."

"I know you are but what am I?"

"GAH!"

". . ."

". . ."

"Are we there yet?"

"No."

". . ."

". . ."

"How about now?"

"Nope."

". . ."

". . ."

"What abotu now?"

"Not even close."

"It's been ten hours!"

"It's been ten minutes. Think of something happy."

". . ."

". . ."

"It's not working."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I think of you and the flock, and then I hear your thought-"

"Angel-"

"-on accident, and you seem so sad. Why are you sad?"

"I'm not sad."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm just . . . Tired."

"Which is why we should be there now."

"Ugh."

". . ."

". . ."

"Are we there yet?"

"No!"

". . ."

". . ."

"Are. We. There. Yet?"

"No."

". . ."

". . ."

"Are we there ye-"

"Oh look, a waterfall! Hey, Iggy come over here and drop-"

"NO!"

"I was kidding."

"Well why would you even say it?"

". . ."

". . ."

"Are we there yet?"

"And we have a winner."

"Fine. I'll stop."

". . ."

". . ."

"Are we there yet?"

**AN: As you can see, I love annoying Max. Don't worry, not all of them will be annoying to Max. Just a few select ones.**

**Oh and check out my friend, jennedy! She's an old friend of mine from AFC. No, not KFC. AFC is a small, Artemis Fowl-only fanfiction website. And now we're buddies here! She has one MR story, a few Inheritance Cycle ones, and one PJO story. So check 'em out! And have a great Wednesday. Reviews would be candy to my soul as well. :)**


	6. 1 Angel, 99 Devil

**AN: Hey, sorry it's been a while. I've been kinda busy with school, and my weekends have been absolutely booked. Except for now, when I'm taking the chance to update! Yay! **

**So this is a cute little sibling piece between Gazzy and Angel, that I wrote in the car while driving to Mesa Verde in Colorado. (Anyone been there? It's so pretty in the fall.) And . . . I hope you like it? Sure, yeah, that's a good way to end the notes . . .**

"Hey Gaz, let's color!"

"Nah."

"How about a game then?"

"No, Angel."

"Why? Let's go fly in the woods."

"Angel, go away."

"I'll race you there."

"No!"

"C'mon, Gaz, please?"

"_No_, I'm busy."

"Hmph. You're always busy."

"That's right. I'm a busy man, so go away."

"You're eight."

"So?"

"No one wants to play with me!"

"Maybe it's because you're so ANNOYING!"

"I am not annoying!"

"Sure, whatever. Just leave me alone!"

"That's what everyone has been doing to me."

"What?"

"Leaving me alone."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I'm so little, and evil, and annoying."

"Well, you can be that way."

"That's exactly what I mean."

". . ."

"Fine. I'm leaving."

"No, Angel. Wait."

". . . What?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"You just did."

"No I - oh. Well, another thing?"

"Sure."

"If you don't want to be alone, then why do you always get under people's skins?"

"Because."

". . . This isn't working. Because _why_?"

"Because they won't pay attention to me if I don't."

"Angel, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For everytime I've ignored you."

"That's okay, Gaz."

"No it's not. I should make it up to you."

"Well . . ."

"What?"

"You see . . ."

"You're making me nervous, Angel."

"It's just that . . ."

"Holy crap, just tell me!"

"I've always wanted Ken to have an actual guy voice . . ."

"Who's Ken?"

". . ."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes!"

"No no NO!"

"You promised!"

"Argh! You will be the death of me Angel!"

"I hope to be."

"That was creepy."

"I was being sarcasm, Gazzy."

"You mean sarcastic."

"Whatever."

"You know something Angel? I've thought of a great metaphor for you."

"That's cool."

"Yeah, it's-"

"What's a metaphor?"

"A comparison, without using the words 'like' or 'as'"

"Have you been watching School House Rock again?"

". . . There was nothing else on."

"Suuure."

"Anyway, back to my point. You're like, 99% devil-"

"Hey!"

"-but a 1% Angel. And when that 1% shows through, you're not so bad."

"Awww, thanks Gazzy!"

"No problem."

"You're still playing Barbies with me . . ."

"And this is when the 99% shows."

**AN: So yeah, kinda sad at the beginning, a little different from the others. But there will be more that are just plain funny! I was trying to shake things up. Did you like it? Hopefully I'll have a romance one up later. :) Reviews are awesome! But readers are awesome too!**


	7. OnSale Doom

**AN: Merry Christmas everyone! I know I haven't been on in a while . . . Um, and I don't have an excuse. My dog ate it? Wait, I don't have a dog. I have a brother! Does that count? Probably not. Oh well. I know this one isn't very Christmassy, but I did work hard on it. While I was tired-but-not-wanting-to-fall-asleep-cuz-it's-Christmas-Eve last night. Hehe.**

"Hey Fang, where are you going?"

"Away from here."

"And why is that?"

"I am not going in there."

"And why not?"

"Don't give me that look! I-"

"You are going into Limited Too with me and you will be just fine."

"No, don't make me do it!"

"Ugh, stop dragging your feet and just go in."

"If I die, then tell Max-"

"You love her? Will do."

"No! I meant to tell her that . . . She gets my watch."

"Oh of course."

"Hey look! Pink leggings with lace! Hehe . . ."

"What are you - oh yeah. Those are cute. Good eye, Fang."

"No problem!"

"We will talk about this later."

What are you talking about?"

"Ugh. You are hopeless. But these are so totally cute. I know it's Christmas, but I totally need this!"

"Like totally."

"What kind of a tone is that?"

"Sarcastic-bitter."

"Hmmm. Nice one. I like it."

"Thanks."

"Ok, so these leggings are on sale-"

"Sweet, how much are they?"

"Ha! You are getting into this!"

"No, I just want to know how badly my wallet will be suffering."

"Sure."

"Seriously."

"They're only $25.95, so that's good-"

"ONLY?! That's like, more expensive than my whole outfit!"

"Fang, you got your outfit at a thrift store. That doesn't count."

"Well . . . Still. You're not getting them."

"But why?"

"Because they're too expensive."

"But they're on sale."

"So?"

"So, I'll beg for them later when they're not on sale."

"You are so evil."

"Thank you. Please, Fang?"

"No."

"Just look at me."

"NO."

"Fang, look at me!"

"No, Nudge, I am not giving in to the - oh, crap."

"What?"

"Don't look at me all innocently! You used Bambi eyes on me!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ugh! Fine! Buy the freaking tights! But nothing else!"

"Oh thank you, Fang! Thank you! I love you, Fang!"

"Yeah, yeah."

". . ."

". . ."

"So, this sweater is also on sale-"

"No."

"I was just gonna tell you it has polar bears on it!"

"Uh huh. Sure."

"It's only $19.50."

"That's less than the freaking pair of leggings!"

"I know! Can I have it?"

"No."

"But it's on sale!"

"I give up."

". . ."

". . ."

"Does this mean I get the sweater?"

**AN: So my wrist is hurting 'cause I've been playing MarioKart all morning, so I am probably going to get off now, instead of typing something real witty or funny here. Merry Christmas!**


	8. Kiss It Better

**AN: So, it's been a while. A long while. But I've been busy! And . . . And . . . Ok, no more excuses. For those of you still following this little story, congrats. I decided to add a different character this time . . . See if you can tell who it is. Happy Monday!**

"So, then you take the chicken and you dip it in the eggs, which should be right here-"

"Those are the bread crumbs."

"Oh. Right. I knew that. So then you dip it in the egg mixture-"

"That's an empty bowl."

"Gosh dangit why can't I do this?"

"Here, let me help."

"Um . . ."

"There. So after it's coated with nasty raw eggs, then what do you do?"

"You, uh, put some crumb breads on it."

". . . What?"

"I mean bread crumbs!"

"Okay. The bread crumbs are right here in this bowl."

"Th-thanks."

"Is something wrong?"

"N-no."

"You're stuttering."

"And you're a girl. Is useless fact time over yet?"

"Whatever. Okay, so now that the chicken is all coated, where do I put it?"

"In the frying pan with a little bit of butter."

"I'll get the butter, you turn on the stove."

"Good idea."

". . ."

". . ."

"Is the pan supposed to still feel cold after I put it on the stove?"

"It's still on the counter."

"Oh. Right."

"You might want to be careful with-"

"OW!"

"-that."

"Oh my holy crap ow!"

"Here, come over here, this way-"

"Don't touch it!"

"I am going to touch your burn! Do you want your hand to get infected and blister-y?"

". . . No."

"Then let me help you."

"Fine."

". . ."

"Ackk!"

"That might sting a little bit."

"Good to know that now."

"Oh hush up. Now all I need to do is find a bandage . . ."

"Why can't I do things on my own? It's so embarrasing."

" . . . I think you know why."

"But why did it happen to me?"

"Obviously so you could impress me with your managing to eat a whole plate of food without spilling a drop."

"Ha-ha. Very funny."

"I only try."

"Wait. Impress you?"

"Yeah."

"Uh-"

"There, all better."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"But it doesn't feel all better yet."

"And why is that?"

"You didn't kiss my hand better."

"Really?"

"Uh-huh."

"Alright, fine."

". . ."

". . ."

"All better now?"

"Very. I think I'm going to feel better for a while."

"I'm happy to know that."

"You should be."

"Don't get cocky. Now help me finish the chicken. Your 'family' is very hungry and I'm pretty sure they're about to come in here and attack us."

"They wouldn't do that."

"You want a replay of that one time we had spaghetti-"

"NO!"

"I didn't think so."

**AN: I didn't really know where I was going with this, so it was shorter than expected. Ah well. Did everyone figure out who was talking? One was in the flock, the other was not, one was a boy, one was a girl. . . If you really can't get it, I'll tell you in a reply, but dudes. Just cuz it's summer doesn't mean we get stupider! . . . Uh actually maybe it does. I had to look up the word "crumb" to make sure I spelled it right. Ha. I am so not ready for school. Hope you liked it, if not tell me why. **


	9. Go Ask Max

**AN: Thank goodness for boring summer afternoons I spend stuck in my basement bedroom. I injured my leg, so I kinda like sitting and doing nothing while reading FanFiction. Then I thought, Hey, I should probably update something. Why not this? Anyway. Hope you like it. **

**SONG OF THE UPDATE: It's My Life by Bon Jovi. Look it up. That's what YouTube is for. That, and annoying teenagers who like to talk in voices higher than Justin Bieber.**

"Hey Fang?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Um."

"It's awkward and potentially embarrassing."

". . . Go ask Max."

"But it's about girls!"

"My point exactly."

"That would be so weird!"

"Why don't you ask Iggy?"

"He's sleeping."

"That can be changed."

". . . I don't wanna."

"Gaz, I'm busy."

"You're laying on the couch watching Lilo and Stitch."

"And your point is . . . ?"

"Look, just answer it and I won't bug you for the rest of the day, okay?"

"Gazzy, I don't know the answers to awkward and potentially embarrassing questions."

"Yes, you do."

"Oh really? How do you know?"

"You answered Angel's question about where babies come from last week."

" . . . I lost a bet."

"Yeah right."

"Seriously."

"I don't believe you."

"That proves I'm not trustworthy, so you probably shouldn't ask me anything."

"Fang, you are unreliable-"

"I know!"

"-but you're the only thing I've got besides Wikipedia."

"Go ask Wikipedia then."

"That's even more unreliable."

"Huh uh."

"Yeah huh."

"Huh uh."

"Yeah-Fang stop being childish!"

"Gaz, what do you want from me?"

"I want you to say what you just said wearing eyeliner and singing the Adam Lambert song."

" . . . No."

"Fine. Answer my question then."

". . . Ugh. Shoot."

"Fang!"

"I meant shoot as in go ahead, say something, I'm desperately awaiting to hear your comment."

"Way to be a walking thesaurus."

"I try."

"Is a thesaurus a dinosaur?"

"No, it's like a dictionary. It's a book about words. Was that your question?"

"No."

"Well then, what is?"

"Fang, what does sexy mean?"

" . . ."

" . . ."

"Uh."

"Well? You said you would answer me."

"Go ask Max."

"No. You said you would tell me. C'mon Fang. Pleeeeeeeeease?"

"It means that someone or something is nice or attractive, pleasing to the eye."

"Really?"

"Really really."

"Okay."

"Why did you want to know?"

"Just cuz."

"Alrighty then. Run along, child."

"I'm not a child."

"That's right. You're a big boy now!"

"Ugh. Can I ask you one more question?"

"Why not? Let's make this twenty questions and have even more fun!"

"Really?"

"No."

"One more question."

"Ugh. What?"

"Why did Iggy say that some girl on TV was sexy?"

". . . Go ask Max."

**AN: So this is more on the T rated side, but it's kinda based on when my seven year old brother asked me what sexy meant. I told him to ask my mom, which he did thankfully, but I kept wondering what would happen if I had to explain it. Anyway. That's what happens when I'm bored. So. Review if you are so inclined, I love to hear from you!**


	10. Anything Worth Doing

**AN: Well. I'm soooo glad school has started because now I barely have time to update what with homework, music lessons, babysitting, play rehearsals, and oh yeah, trying to have a social life. Even if I wanted one, I don't think I'd be able to fit a boyfriend into the schedule. Just as well . . . *sigh* Well, this one is . . . I don't know what this one is. I just kinda let my fingers type. Also, keep those who were affected by the 9/11 crashes in your thoughts today. I was only like seven when it happened, but still. Whew. Longest author's notes EVER. I'll go write it on the calander. Enjoy!**

**SONG OF THE UPDATE: Secrets by One Republic. I love this song. I love the whole alternative/rock thing about it. It's the song that plays in the Pretty Little Liars commercials. (Don't even get me started on that show. It's like, take the drama of Secret Life, add in six people but like twenty relationships, stir, and let ferment. Ugh, but it's so addicting.)**

"So, Ig, when you gonna cook these potatoes?"

"Um . . . I was kinda content just sitting here, enjoying the sunlight."

"We're in the middle of freaking nowhere. We're lucky I could fly 100 miles to a grocery store and buy some food. And you think you can just sit here and enjoy the SUNLIGHT?"

"Why yes. Yes I do."

"And why is that?"

"Because anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. And without haste."

"We're all starving!"

"Are you really speaking on behalf of the whole flock, or is this just you telling me you're hungry?"

"Um. It's all of us. You wouldn't know if they were around or not."

"Au contraire, Maximum. I only hear two people breathing. You and me. No flock."

"Okay fine. But I bet you anything the others are hungry too."

"We're always hungry."

"Yeah, but I'm starving now!"

"Oh, starving you are?"

"Yes, Yoda, now hurry up and bake these things."

"You mean you don't know how?"

"Don't give me that sarcasm, you know I can't cook worth crap."

"You bought aluminium foil, correct?"

"Yes . . ."

"Wrap the potatoes in foil. Put in fire. Wait until you smell burning metal. Take them out. Simple as that."

"It may sound simple to you, but-"

"Incredibly challenging to the great Maximum Ride, leader of us all?"

"I . . . I just meant that . . ."

"I'm waaaaiting!"

"YES okay? It's hard! So just cook my d!# potatoes!"

"Fine, Max. Fine."

". . ."

". . ."

"There, see? Did that really look so hard?"

"Gee, I wouldn't know. And you're in no state to tease, Miss Ride."

"I . . . Sorry, Ig."

"S'okay."

"So how long are these going to take?"

"Hmmm, bout forty-five minutes, give or take."

"Forty-five?"

"What, you didn't get any other nutritional supplement at the store?"

"I got a little butter and some cheese for the potatoes."

"Ah. Of course you did."

"Shut up! You couldn't have done any better!"

"I think I could."

". . ."

". . ."

"Okay, so maybe you could. Why can't you just let me be angry in peace?"

"Isn't that kind of contradicting?"

"IGGY!"

"Okay, fine. Sorry. Geez, PMS much?"

" . . ."

". . ."

"When are those taters done?"

"It's been five minutes."

"What did I say about letting me stew in silence?"

". . ."

"Well?"

"I was simply complying to your wishes."

"Oh."

". . ."

"How long is this going to take?"

"Max, Max, Max. Don't you remember the wisdom I imparted to you?"

"No. Actually, I never remember any wisdom coming from you."

"Ha. You are secretly funny, my friend."

"Thank you. I try."

"I told you that anything worth doing is worth doing slowly. Have patience. Enjoy the sunlight."

"Okay, okay, I get it. I'll be more patient."

". . ."

". . ."

". . ."

"Seriously! It's like watching grass grow!"

"Anything worth doing is worth doing-"

"Shut up!"

**AN: Wow. I really should think about stuff before I write it. Oh well. **


	11. Have the Decency

**AN: Sorry it's been a while. I really don't have an excuse, but I was gone for like the whole summer and I've started school and I have AP classes and a job and music lessons and play rehearsals… I'm just a busy kid. So! I hope you enjoy this, and your day is made a little brighter. That is the goal.**

**Song of the Post: The Ballad of Mona Lisa by Panic! at the Disco**

Have the Decency

"Hey, Nudge."

"Oh, hey…"

"Whatcha doin?"

"I found this Tetris game."

"Uh-huh."

"It's slightly addicting."

"So I see."

"… You know, I'm really good at this game."

"I'm so proud."

"Sarcasm? Really? You know I hate it when you-"

"Sarcasm is a muscle that must be exercised daily."

"Wow, you're so wise. I bow before your wisdom, Master Yoda."

"Nah, if I was Yoda I would've screwed up the sentence structure."

"… You've seen that movie WAY too many times. Seriously, Gaz, it's not becoming for a young man to have seen Star Wars at least fifty times. You're obsessed."

"Am not!"

"Yes, yes you are."

"No, no I am not!"

"Look, Gazzy, not that I mean to be rude, or anything, but you really need to just not get so uptight about things. Chill out, man."

"… You know, there's a hippie convention going on downtown-"

"Did you just imply that I am hippie-ish?"

"…. Um. Yes?"

"…"

"Is it really that insulting?"

"Hippies don't bathe! Hippies don't shave their armpits! Hippies never cut their hair! Hippies wear fringe! And worst of all . . ."

"… Pause for dramatic effect…"

"HIPPIES WEAR TIE-DYE!"

"…"

"Aw, shoot I lost."

"…"

"What?"

"You are way too concerned about fashion."

"So? Fashion is a good thing. When you are in style, you show the world that you care about looking good. And people who look good are generally successful in their lives. I saw it on an episode of Oprah, and it was really cool cuz this girl was really letting herself go and just not dressing herself and then Oprah-"

"Also, you talk too much."

"… That hurt."

"…"

"You smell."

"Ouch."

"…"

"You know, if you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague."

"…"

"…"

"Also, you watch too many kung fu movies."

**AN: So there's that. Bored on a Saturday = Updated chapter! Hope I didn't offend any hippies out there, I figured Nudge wouldn't know much about their beliefs and such. Also, I don't really watch Oprah, and I doubt that I "quoted" a real episode. Reviews are lovely but not required!**


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